Saturday, June 30, 2012

Discover Scuba!

Sat 30/6/12 : PJ Palms Sports Centre (near Amcorp Mall / A&W / Taman Jaya LRT)

Thanks to PEERS again, I got the opportunity to join another great activity - trying my hand at diving!
PEERS would again participate in a CSR, i.e. Project Aware in Combating Marine Debris - doing ocean clean up, data collection and litter prevention, tentatively slated for end Sept 2012, so I'm aiming to join - but I'll need to get my diving license first. It'd be a cool way to contribute back to society - while enjoying the scenery of aquatic life.

So this Discovery Scuba experience today would be a great introduction to test the water (literally) before jumping (or rather diving) into the real open water dive certification.

It was supposed to be 10 of us, but only 6 showed up and I was the only girl. Didn't matter, the boys treated me like just another dive member :) Our trainer today was Nick and Faris.

We started with a video introduction on the Do's and Don'ts of diving and on the procedures for a safe and enjoyable dive. Then we were briefed again by Nick, signed the indemnity form and then it was straight to the pool. We were first asked to put on our mask / goggle and use the regulator. Then it was the cleaning the mask underwater exercise, followed by releasing the regulator and putting it back (I had to this 3 times as I was bubbling out air way too much - I was out of air too soon and had to ascend to surface). Lastly it was diving to the deep part of the pool with our fins on - of course I excelled on that heheh. But going to the deeper end - you have to remember to equalize the pressure - as you go deeper, the water will compress the air pocket inside your body which are at your ears, sinuses (nose and throat) and lungs and also on the mask you're wearing. You equalize by just simple pinching your nose and blow the air from your nose. It's similar like when you're ascending in a plane then you feel some ringing in your ears. For me, I just swallowed my saliva to equalize. Simple :)

The scuba experience lasted for about 3 hours. Then of course I had a go at swimming at the Olympic sized pool. Can't help it, I can't resist to swim.

OK, enjoy this video of PEERS' collaboration with Project Aware in July 2011 in cleaning up at Bidong Jetty and a fun leisure dive at Pulau Karah.


Thursday, June 21, 2012

The final week

Tue 5/6
Dad's condition is still the same, seems stable

Wed 6/6
I didn't know this earlier. But mom told me later - today the nurses tried to take dad's blood pressure, but they couldn't. They tried this a few times. Then they took his temperature - 34C, but his body was hot.
His feet were cold, his nails blue
Before I went to sleep, I checked on dad. He was calm, sleeping.
But I noticed something different. He was breathing very slowly again, like during the time his blood pressure was down to 86.
And there was a strange breathing sound he made,I've never heard it before. I checked again. Still breathing. Relieved, I went to sleep at 2am.

Thurs 7/6
Woke up as usual, prepared to go to work.
At 7.15am, checked on dad.
Mom told me about today's plan - my aunt would come around lunch time, so mom would go back home and prepare to bring back dad home tomorrow. Then bro would come and take back mom to hospital
I asked if she wanted me to come back early as I was on duty at WGC, she said OK
Dad seemed stable - he was calm, sleeping and breathing
I went to work
Just parked at KL Convec at 7.45am when my mom called, crying, asking me to come back to the hospital.
I think I knew what just happened
I tried to stay calm, trying to get my way back to UMMC. 
Then one of my aunts called me - asking what my mom was trying to say as she was crying, she wasn't saying things clearly. I told her mom asked us to go to the hospital.
Then another aunt asked me the same thing - and I told her the same thing.
Traffic was bad going towards UMMC - I only arrived at around 8.30am and couldn't find a parking spot- so I had to park further
When I reached our room, dad has already passed on. I saw the doc, dad covered underneath a white sheet
Then I lifted the sheet, looked at my dad's face and sobbed.
The doc and nurses left us for a while for a private moment.
We recited our prayers and yassin
Then my mom told me - what happened
She was in the shower when she suddenly felt like someone was calling her. So she went out, checked on dad. Dad breathing slowly. Then she called the nurses
She saw dad's last 3 breaths. Long breaths. Then it was the last one. She was by his side to say the kalimah syahadah.
The nurses took his pulse. Straight line. Then they called the doc. Doc verified dad has passed away at around 7.50am at UMMC room no 2, ward 6TE

Later an uncle and an aunt came, luckily they were with us, we wouldn't know what to do

It took a few hours to settle the mortuary release and permit to lay to rest

At 12 noon, dad was finally brought home.

At 2.30 pm, dad was brought to Masjid At-Taqwa for the final rites

After Asar at 5pm, dad was brought to the Bukit Kiara Muslim cemetery to be laid to rest

At 6pm, mom was the last person to leave dad


Abah, may Allah place you among the pious and religious. May Allah forgive his sins and accept all his deeds. Ameen.


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The 2nd week

Tue 29/5
Today was my 1st day back at the office after dad was warded in the hospital
I needed some distraction
Dad was stable, but had fever, so I needed to give him panadol midnite everyday.

Wed 30/5
At work
Dad still stable. Looks good. My hunch could be right. Seems that we might be able to bring dad back to rest at home
Plus, mom asked me to buy his Appeton milk. At the pharmacy, only twin packs were sold. I take it that buying twin packs (2 tins of milk) meant  that dad would outlast the tins - which would take about a month to finish. I felt good.

Thurs 31/5
At work.
Dad still the same.

Fri 1/6
Off day today for Agong's birthday. Me & mom re-arranged the furniture at home to give space for dad's medical equipment - hospital bed, oxygen  and phlegm suction machine

Sat 2/6
Dad still stable

Sun 3/6
I felt comfortable enough to travel a bit.
With mom's blessing, I went for Azami's wedding with Mas at Jelebu

Mon 4/6
Resume work. Volunteering at WGC
Mom told me earlier in the morning during the doctor's round, doc told her that dad's condition is like a time bomb. The clock is ticking.
There are new bedsores on him
But since dad is stable, doc is allowing him to be discharged. His condition would be monitored. Wednesday will decide if he could be discharged on Friday
Mom managed to get a nurse from UMMC to come and clean dad's bedsores at home
Mom went back at noon as the hospice transporter is sending the hospital bed and the equipments


Saturday, June 16, 2012

The final 3 weeks...the 1st week

Mon 21/5
I came home after maghrib. Mom just came back from the pharmacy purchasing some medicine for dad's bedsore. Had dinner with mom, but mom ate hastily, she finished off first to tend to dad. I quitely ate my dinner.

Washed up & went to my room. I didn't realize mom was calling me.
Until I heard my brother's voice. Something must be happening. My heart raced

Went to dad's room. Mom said she was calling me all this while, I felt guilty I didn't hear it.
Mom said dad was sweating, had high fever, vomitting and his eyes was rolled up, you could see the white of his eyes only. I didn't dare to look.

Bro called for the ambulance from UMMC.
I was imagining the worst.
Bro followed dad in the ambulance.
I drove mom to UMMC
Waited at the emergency ward from 10.30pm - 2am
Finally all the tests were done, dad was transferred to Ward 6TE, East Tower, Level 6 at Palliative Care Unit under Oncology ward (for cancer patients)
Saw dad's hands were tied. I asked why. The attendant said he wanted to take the IV drip off.

Tue 22/5
We slept nearby dad. It was an open ward, we didn't get a room. Waited for the doctor
No doctor until it was Subuh already.
Me and bro went back home. Mom stayed.
EL today. Planned to take EL the whole week.
Went back to UMMC 8.30am, waited for the doctor
Doctor finally came
Last night was a seizure. Not in good condition.
Doc said: For his final moment, you want it to be at the hospital or bring him home?
That was it. We broke into tears.
Current condition : Critical, but stable. In coma, he was on morphin, antibiotics, drip
Doc asked to reduce dad's milk intake to just 3 times a day from every 3 hours. Usually it's 400ml of Appeton 60+ milk.
Imagine 400ml is just a mere cup of milk. He was surviving on only about  6 cups of milk everyday for a few months already.
I asked for forgiveness from Dad. It might be my last chance. He responded. He gripped tight my hand. His eyes was open. He cried. I cried. I told him I forgave him, I have absolutely nothing against him. I want him to go in peace. Then mom & bro asked for forgiveness too.
Mas & Ezad came. Ezad tought me a few things on how to care for dad. Thanks Ezad. Mas asked to be transferred to a room. They were still full.
Me & mom slept at the hospital

Wed 23/5
Went back to take some fresh clothes & a bit cleaning up the house
Mom stayed at the hospital
At 1pm, Bro whatsapped me to come to hospital. Dad was critical, doc asked for family members to gather.
Tried to stay calm.
2pm Arrived at hospital, everyone was there, uncles, aunties, cousins.
Saw my uncle whispering to dad to say the kalimah syahadah.
I broke into tears
Went to dad and whispered to him too,me sobbing
Saw the patient from the bed in front of us being wheeled out. His body. He was just warded last night. Mom told he passed away just before I reached back.
Realized this one  volunteer, constantly keeping company of the aunty beside us, a cancer patient. He was really patient with the aunty. 
SMS-ed Mas to recite the yassin, told her about dad's condition
Dad was struggling to get his phlegm out, he can't cough it out.
The nurses sucked out the phlegm with a tube, similar like sucking with a vacuum
At 5pm, my dad's condition stabilized. He was breathing, but slowly.
By 10pm, everyone had left except me & mom. We slept there.

Thurs 24/5
The patient from the bed beside us passed away. The nurses only realised this during the morning  cleaning up of patients at 5.30am. I remember the man struggled last night, he was coughing and asking for more morphin. I didn't know why I just stared at him, until my mom asked me to call the nurse, and only then I did.
There is only death in this ward. It has been 2 since we came here.
In the afternoon finally moved into a room. It was more convenient. For us to recite our prayers without disturbing other patients from other faiths.
Today we realized - dad wasn't able to move anymore. Just yesterday he could grip our hands. He is no longer aware. He no longer cries. It was only breathing, sleeping or struggling with the phlegm. I realized there was no more emotion from him, only the reflect feedbacks.
Doc asked to reduce further to only 1 milk intake, and to only 200ml! And taken off the drip. This was to reduce dad's phlegm.
More friends & relatives came. Mas, Ezad & Liza came.
My cousin Alan who just lost his mother (my aunt) about a week before (13/5) - I regretted did't get to visit arwah at the hospital - told me - it was the same condition as his mom. The struggling with the phlegm. It was one of the signs.
Bro slept together w us tonite in our new room. Room no 2, same ward

Fri 25/5
Doc told it could be today or tomorrow.
I somehow felt dad was going to survive for....maybe a month or so.
I suddenly felt stronger - I should look this from a positive side.
If my dad survives, alhamdulillah (at this point I knew it was unlikely)
If it was time, at least his sufferings will end.
He was by now skin and bones. His rib cage protruding. His cheekbone protruding.
A friend of mom's came and left not long after as she couldn't bear to look
Anyway, I was contemplating to go back to work, as a distraction.

Sat 26/5
More relatives & friends came.
Dad was calm, sleeping.

Sun 27/5
After maghrib, Wan Chik & Ayah Chik was about to go back when Dad started struggling again.
Called the nurse for suction.
So I cancelled going to the office the next day. One more EL for Monday.
Anyway, dad's blood pressure improved to normal about 130. Before it was only 85. I took a reading of his breath interval (although it was very scary to do so - I was imagining what if it was his last breath - but I continued on). Intermittent. Longest interval was 5 seconds. He was really breathing slowly.
I thought my hunch was right. Dad was going to survive - but I know it might not be long.

Mon 28/5
Today mom came home with me. I saw that she was more composed. She didn't want to leave dad for just a while before this.
I was glad she was able to relax. She watched TV, catching up on things she missed out.
I got to sleep on a bed after a week.